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Joke of the Day

"Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment."

"How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar? Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds."

"What do you call Nicky Minaj's ass? Silicone valley"

"FRIEND: Do you want to go [i don't hear the rest because i'm already sighing too loudly]"

"If one horse is in the corral, running around the perimeter of the fence,and another horse is running free in a field, which one is singing, ""Don't Fence Me In""? Neither. Horses can't sing."

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? What are you shaking for? She's going to eat me!"

"What's the only difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball? I can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball"

"the vibrator was invented when Dr Edward Vibrator got extremely chilly whilst shagging Mrs Vibrator and his shivering sent her to cum town"

"What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common? They've both put their faith in the cloud."

"Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair? Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud"