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Joke of the Day

"When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk? - just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings"

"""Son of a bitch, what are you doing? I just brought you that."" (most dogs during fetch)"

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheburg."

"I was undressing a guy with my eyes, but my eyelid got caught on a zipper"

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them"

"I recently saved a ton of money on my car insurance. By fleeing the scene of the accident."

"A girl quit her job at the doughnut factory... She was fed up with the hole business."

"Why did Obama tap Merkel's phone? To hear a smart politician."

"There's a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order ... The police believe they're still at large."

"Did you hear the newspaper headline about the escaped lunatic who raped a woman and ran away? ""Nut screws and bolts""."