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Joke of the Day

"What did little Jonny have to say on the topic of meteorites? No comet."

"What do slutty nurses go as for Halloween?"

"Why is Columbus a slang term for cocaine in Native American communities? Because it's white and kills them."

"Q: How do Chinese people name their babies? A: They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make."

"Hey guys I just discovered something... It's called Christopher Columbus. I later robbed and killed him."

"I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her."

"They're giving Caitlyn Jenner ANOTHER TV show Apparently, they have her competing in the Olympics again. It's going to be called ""Drag Races""."

"If there really was a Purge, and all crime was legal for one night, I'd probably do something super crazy, like loiter."

"1) Lick tip. 2) Stick it in gently. 3) Pump 12-20 times. 4) Sweat profusely. 5) Pull out gently. -Instructions on inflating a basketball."

"*police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a Princess Leia costume* ""HIDE THIS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN"" *throws bag of cinnamon buns at me*"