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Joke of the Day

"1) Lick tip. 2) Stick it in gently. 3) Pump 12-20 times. 4) Sweat profusely. 5) Pull out gently. -Instructions on inflating a basketball."

"How did the Manicurist feel after her salon was robbed? Defiled."

"What is six inches long and stiff in the morning? Crib death."

"Gary Busey speaks in Wingdings font."

"Tried to cover Miles Davis but failed miserably... I Kind of Blue it"

"I think that time will eventually show that Vanilli was by far the more talented of the two."

"Fact: 98% of Jeep owners are guys named Jake, who wear shorts in the winter, and work at Starbucks."

"You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody."

"What's the best thing about 21 year olds in bed? There's 21 of them"

"My money box is empty... No change there."