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Joke of the Day

"Cashier: how old r u? Me:*holding beer nervously* uuh 21 Cashier:*shaking his head sadly as he pulls Trix out of my cart* Trix are for kids."

"Did you hear about the prize-winning author that got a chicken in the mail? It was a pullet surprise!"

"When you ask if I want fries or salad, I'll pretend it's a tough choice and we'll enjoy a genial laugh before you bring me more ketchup."

"""I'm hungry!"" says your sister... ""Hi Hungry, I'm Dad"" your father replies Two hours later, your dad says, ""I'm fucking hungry!"""

"Opposites don't always attract. I've met several sane and normal people and found nothing about them appealing."

"Did you see the video of the guy making out with the lady with the Zika Virus? Yeah, apparently it went viral. I know this is awful, but my coworkers laughed... so I got that going for me."

"Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well bring me some you haven't had around for that long."

"If you are scared of pedophiles Grow up."

"What do you get when you spend all afternoon replying to your anonymous feedback on Corpell Anonymous Box? Corpell tunnel syndrome"

"What do you get if a convict goes camping? Criminal Intent."