162562

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you spend all afternoon replying to your anonymous feedback on Corpell Anonymous Box? Corpell tunnel syndrome"

"How hot was that oven? That they baked you in? Because you're hotter than a freshly baked Pizza!"

"Did you hear about the guy that had mountains for legs? He also had a Pyrenees!"

"Me: Hold still. All I need to do is wipe your nose. Toddler: *dodges the tissue like she's in the Matrix*"

"What doesn't kill you, tries again."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently not 3, because my basement is still dark."

"Paid $50 for a device that has a motion detector that emits a sound to scare off neighbor's cat....she's out there rubbing up against it now"

"What's worse than an unfinished joke?"

"People wonder why I move to a new place every couple years. The truth is, I'm being chased by a snail with a grenade and a vendetta."

"Every girl has 3 guys in her life: one she loves, one she hates, and the one she can't live without. But in the end, it's the same guy!"