139186

Joke of the Day

"I thought of pick up line that only works on mexicans. Are you Mexican? Because I wanna get jalapeno."

"As a matter of fact, I _AM_ trying to cause a big sensation... Just talkin' 'bout double p-penetration"

"Did you hear about the guy how lost his whole left side? He's alright now."

"Instead of saying you lost your eyesight due to an explosion while you were making meth, just tell people that you were blinded by science."

"So I told my dad a joke about Sandy Hook the other day. He didn't think it was funny I guess it's aimed at a younger audience."

"A problem shared is a problem halved Unless that problem is an STD"

"I'll eat when I'm dead - zombies"

"Nothing makes me happier to be single than meeting a couple who share an email address."

"I went to my local supermarket and they offered me a 'bag for life'. I said, ""No thanks, I'm already married."""

"Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd."