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Joke of the Day

"I think sitting on an airplane is the most exhausting type of sitting."

"Where does a race on the Swedish border end at? The Finnish line."

"I couldn't believe it yesterday, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't actually mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school..."

"I like a good long cuddle with my girlfriend after sex It's the quickest way to deflate her"

"What is the best way to talk to a vampire? By long distance."

"Canada plans on removing the polar bear from the Tonnie. And replace it with two gay deer, it's called two fucking bucks."

"what do you call a turtle dressed as a guido a slowbro"

"""Have they tried turning him off and then on again?"" - Me, suggesting a cure for Stephen Hawking."

"Your as worthless as, Tits on a boar hog."

"The Toyota Prius will help reduce your gas bill and your sex life."