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Joke of the Day

"How do teenage boys keep warm? Jackit"

"Hey baby, do you like tan lines? Because I fell asleep with a badminton racquet on my face again and"

"I booked a suite at a 5 star hotel and when my girlfriend arrived,on the bed spelled out in rose petals was ""be right out,I'm taking a shit"""

"Baltimore, eat a snickers. You turn into Ferguson when you're hungry."

"4-year-old: Can we go get ice cream? Me: It's freezing outside. 4: I know. It won't melt."

"Half of Chinese men have cataracts... The other half drive Lincolns."

"Just came into a HUGH sum of money... I'm an ant and its a penny."

"An average person has sex 300 times a year. The next 10 days are gonna be sick."

"MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED"

"A tenner killed a baby it was a new low"