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Joke of the Day

"An old couple was found dead in a drive in theater ... they came to see the movie ""Closed for Winter""."

"Why are brides so happy on their wedding days? No more blowjobs."

"If Jesus came back today, hipsters would be like ""whatever Jesus, the book was better."""

"Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather? A) He's got bugs on his teeth."

"My friend and I have a pact that if we're not married by age 40, we're going to fist bump and take shots for making good decisions"

"If countries don't want revolutions, they should stop putting large public squares in the middle of their cities. So stupid!"

"It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting ""UNSUBSCRIBE!"""

"[after robots take over] *drones crash into my kitchen* ME: [mouthful of ham] whobithrayed me? *fridge starts laughing* BUT U WERE MY FABRIT"

"I can't believe Prince & Muhammad Ali died from the same thing... ...being overrated."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 85,432 times, you're a weatherman"