202729

Joke of the Day

"[after robots take over] *drones crash into my kitchen* ME: [mouthful of ham] whobithrayed me? *fridge starts laughing* BUT U WERE MY FABRIT"

"[TRIGGER WARNING] If I had a dollar for every gender... I would have 2 dollars."

"What did Snape say at Alan Rickmans funeral? Nothing."

"Apparently the majority of The United Arab Emirates don't allow The Flintstones to be shown... However Abu Dhabi do."

"Why would boxers make good comedians? Because they always have a punchline"

"The other day I was mocking my wife, ""Why do you wear a bra? You've got nothing to put in it.""...... Fucking bitch replied, ""You wear briefs, don't you?"""

"She ran her fingers through my hair and pulled hard. I wanted to ask her to do it harder - but probably inappropriate for the hair salon."

"Why do the police hate teenage fireflies? They never stop lighting up."

"What do you call a black guy at college? A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist."

"What do you call a vehicle that has changed gender? TRANSportation"