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Joke of the Day

"Where does the thumb meet its type? At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!"

"When I like a girl, I play it cool. I wait. I text once, wait 60 years, and then I die."

"I saw a fat lady accidentally sit on a phone today I guess you could call that a booty call..."

"What do you call a group of babies? The infantry."

"Get off the goddamn Twitter, go out & live your life! I'll be here when you get back"

"What's the difference between Jesus and Sasha Grey? The look on their face while being nailed."

"TIFU by not paying attention while ordering at Subway. Whoops, wrong sub."

"My wife told me she accidentally swapped the KY Jelly and the window putty No wonder the windows kept falling out!"

"I want to press charges on Santa If he knows when I'm sleeping, and he knows when I'm awake, that has to be considered stocking."

"I heard you can eat animals only if you're tall and handsome. This is a pussy joke."