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Joke of the Day

"The town emergency siren sounds. I peer out my bedroom window. ""It can't be"" I mutter. ""Honey, grab the kids. Hot local singles are coming."""

"I'm not sure about you guys, but I'm pretty sure if she can sell seashells by the sea shore, she also has pretty big boobs."

"Why did Jesus come to Earth? To get to the other side. Ba dum tssshh"

"How to become a Saint 1: Become Catholic 2: Live an exemplary and pious life 3: Perform at least two miracles Or...Just Be Kanye's baby"

"[Jesus plays hide-n-seek] Jesus: [exiting cave] Ah, ya found me! Let's play again. Harder this time. Find me now. [He ascends to Heaven]"

"My name is Forrest! I constantly hear Forrest Gump jokes, ever since I can remember they've been the same ones, and I want to hear something original! Work your magic reddit!"

"My magic watch say's you don't have any underwear on... Oh, you do?... It must be 15 minutes fast."

"When you f**k up a coded message and have to send it again Re morse"

"My music teacher at school told me never to hit a drum again or I could get in serious trouble. I did, and he was right. There was serious re-percussions"

"What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? It was wound up already."