153078

Joke of the Day

"My music teacher at school told me never to hit a drum again or I could get in serious trouble. I did, and he was right. There was serious re-percussions"

"My wife told me she would leave me if I didn't stop cheating on her Damn, I never thought she took a card game this seriously."

"Who is the easiest to get a high-five from in a war? The French. They always have their hands up."

"Needles What are dull needles good for? Nothing, they're pointless."

"My wife's fanny smells like roses.. But rose's is tighter."

"Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls."

"My niece asked me what it's like to be an uncle, so we got a feral cat from a shelter, chased it around for a bit, then took it back."

"What do you call a Russian Duke who makes butter the old fashioned way? A churn-noble!"

"How do you make a fire with two sticks? You make sure one is a match !"

"""I'm not mad. Why would I be mad?"" - girls who are mad"