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Joke of the Day
"My magic watch say's you don't have any underwear on... Oh, you do?... It must be 15 minutes fast."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between chocolate and a dead hooker? You can feed one to your dog"
"If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I'll let you in line in front of me at the pharmacy."
"How do you spell relief? F-A-R-T"
"John buys binoculars and shows it to Bob. ""Bob, this is the coolest thing ever. Last night I saw you doing you wife"" You can return it, it's broken. Last night I was out of town"
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa. Not yelling and screaming, like the people in his car"
"You know it's cold outside when... You buy a foot long at Subway and by the time you get it to you car it's a six inch"
"Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making"
"That awkward moment when you don't know what to do with your life when you leave the computer, so you just get back on."
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."