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Joke of the Day

"[Jesus plays hide-n-seek] Jesus: [exiting cave] Ah, ya found me! Let's play again. Harder this time. Find me now. [He ascends to Heaven]"

"People keep asking what I thought of my Oklahoma trip It was OK"

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard, I was just laid by a chick."

"Forty minutes before we get to the first sex scene in Fifty Shades Of Grey? They do beat around the bush..."

"I like my women like I like my politics The more Bush the better"

"Why are barns so noisy? All the cows have horns"

"Imagine how expensive the iPhone would be if they called themselves Organic Apple."

"My cell phone battery dies quicker than a mother in a Disney movie"

"When looking at the list of the best 10 Presidents of the last 150 years Obama's name really jumps off the page. Because it knows it sure as hell doesn't belong there."

"Throw a pizza down a manhole. Wait five minutes. Throw a grenade down. You just killed the Ninja Turtles."