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Joke of the Day

"What is the dumbest animal? An ignoraMOOSE"

"MY NECK. MY BACK. MY PJ'S AND MY SNACK."

"BOSS: It's come to my attention that you've disabled attachments for emails. You have to fix that. BUDDHA: But attachments cause suffering."

"What did the gingerbread man say during sex? I'm gonna crumb!"

"Sorry, I'm out of my mind at the moment, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. "

"X/y If Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner were to go missing, would they put his/her picture on a half n half carton?"

"How many girlfriends have you had before me? She asked casually, as she sat on the edge of my bed pretending to be interested in my Warhammer catalogue. Fucking stupid question."

"As a broke college student, do you know what the best vehicle to have is? A scholarSHIP. I'm sorry."

"Saw a documentary on rim-jobs last night. It was very tongue-in-cheek."

"What do canes and blue pills have in common? They're both ready for use when a man is limp."