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Joke of the Day

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they're both stuck up bitches."

"I met a girl with twelve boobs. Sounds weird, dozentit?"

"It's been five minutes since Adobe asked me to install an update. I hope they didn't go out of business or something."

"Why does moon rock taste better than earth rock? It's a little meteor."

"Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A.The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene."

"I am going to lead a long life. That's the only way I will ever get caught up on all my homework."

"What's worse than a blowjob from Willie Nelson? That ain't Willie Nelson."

"i'm happy when life hands me lemons. can't do shots of tequila with artichokes."

"Why does everyone mention that in space no-one can hear you scream instead of mentioning something positive like how no-one can hear u yodel"

"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"