131913

Joke of the Day

"If you're on the exercise bike in front of mine, I'm sorry, but we are spies, and I am frantically chasing you through the streets of Italy."

"Spell check changed ""important"" to ""impotent"" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up."

"What do you call a dirty puddle on a slab of cold concrete in dim, gloomy light? A sunny day in Seattle."

"How does the modern-day James Bond prefer his women? Shaven, not furred"

"How to impress your ex: 1. Get rich 2. Get more attractive 3. Get a tiger 4. Ride tiger everywhere in preparation for confrontation with ex"

"Oh, jokes from 7 year-olds are cool now? From my son last night: ""Why do sea gulls fly over the sea?"" Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bay gulls (""like bagels, get it Dad?"")."

"What do you call a detective novel about eskimos? Whodinuit"

"I heard a joke about the swiss the other day But the punch line was too cheesy to repeat."

"Q: Who writes ghost stories? A: A ghost writer."

"ELI5: What are thoooooooose?!?"