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Joke of the Day

"If you're on the exercise bike in front of mine, I'm sorry, but we are spies, and I am frantically chasing you through the streets of Italy."

"Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it."

"What did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? ""Robin, get in the car."""

"Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction. I'm so sorry."

"What is the worst way to find out you just came into money? via sticky notes"

"[job interview] ""So do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?"" Can I wait a week until I take the drug test?"

"My black girlfriend told me this on our first date. What do you call 200 black people in a barn? Antique farm equipment."

"What's a politicians favorite kind of dance move? Poll dancing!"

"OUT OF ALL THE BIKES ON THIS BIKE RACK, THIS ONE'S SEAT DEFINITELY SMELLS THE WORST."

"Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic? He thought he was following someone."