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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather told me this one.. You need to try everything in life at least once except three things: incest, heroin and folk dance."

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"When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shit."
"Next time a skinny bitch calls herself fat... I'm gonna agree with her."
"[speaking at funeral] Deceased's brother: there's no words to describe the anguish we all feel right now Me: what about 'anguish'?"
"The therapist told my wife and I not to go to bed angry... we haven't slept in 36 years."
"So a fisherman is having an argument with a stain on his shirt.. And the stain says ""I'm fish jizz, thank you."" And the fisherman replies ""No, you're whale-cum"""
"i dont think anyone quotes mlk more than white people who were just accused of racism themselves"
"The ultimate collection of jokes about Uranus! http://www.nottriangles.com/blog/uranus.html"
"What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely it's a gift!"
"what did the call the time travelling cyborg who had a weak bladder urinator"
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