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Joke of the Day

"What's the password to Forest Gumps laptop? 1forest1"

"We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they'll dig the wrong way. It's called thinking ahead guys."

"Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ? He wrecked three cars a bus and two fire engines !"

"Sir, you will have to stop masturbating. ""Why, doctor?"" ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears? The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!"

"How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs? None. He ""fell""."

"Why didn't Mark Hamill go crazy while voice acting as the Joker? Because he overcame the dark side"

"Just got a $14 haircut at Great Clips because I'm worth it goddamnit."

"Did you hear about the anxious gynaecologist? ...He got in a flap."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aileen ! Aileen who ? Aileen against my Rolls Royce!"