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Joke of the Day

"As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears? The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!"

"I've grown bored of reality, So I started watching cable news."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Czech ! Czech who ? Czech before you open the door !"

"All of the UFO sightings were just people seeing chuck Norris fly to McDonald's."

"Reddit will end with not a bang, but a Pao."

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito."

"So... a German is getting ready to enter in a plane to Poland. ""Occupation?"" - The officer asks. ""Occupation? No! I'm here to visit!"""

"I have only two requests for when I die. #1. I want my remains scattered around Wrigley Field. \#2. I don't want to be cremated first."

"A fish walks into a bar the bartender asks ""What would you like?"" the fish says holding his neck ""Water""."

"Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: ""It's a corny show! We just don't get it!"" said one astrophysicist."