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Joke of the Day

"Elsa My daughter just told me this before bed. Why is Elsa not allowed a balloon? Because she'll let it goooo"

"I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own."

"Why Latvian man did cross road? Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato."

"Is your refrigerator running?"

"The sexy 21yr old woman that lives nextdoor to me just knocked on my door and accused me of stealing underwear from her washing line... ...i almost shit her pants!"

"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up your girlfriend's arse."

"What's the easiest way to kill a bison calf. Put it in the back of your SUV."

"How do Italian Jews like their bread? With-a matzah holes in it."

"What do you call a slightly impolite canadian dust devil? Da rude ""eh"" sandstorm"