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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up your girlfriend's arse."

"If you love her, let her go out drinking with her friends.. If she calls you drunk, she is yours.. If she turns off her cell, she never was."

"What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler? You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler."

"What do you call a chicken with no neck? A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit."

"I'm going to open a sperm bank. I'll call it ""Get a load of that guy"""

"Ways To Win My Heart: 1) Be smoking hot 2) Be thin 3) Be a pig 4) Be bacon"

"If I ever start a customer service company, I'm going to name it 'Hold Please'."

"Imagine this: you're home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers ""Bless you"" and hangs up"

"To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves"

"What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism? A Christian bail."