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Joke of the Day

"Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands."

"Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!"

"Personally I feel Romeo and Juliet could have handled the situation better."

"I struggle with an intense fear of becoming disabled It's crippling"

"Just tried to even up my sideburns and now I'm a hairless cat."

"If I watch a meteor shower Does it feel violated? (x-post shittyaskscience)"

"Words (short and lame) Prepositions are words to not end sentences with."

"After 50 years of failed embargoes and isolation the US is about to unleash its most obnoxious weapon on Cuba to date...the American tourist."

"Can't believe my daughter said I was embarrassing her by trying to be cool. She needs to check the tude & stop being so wiggity wiggity wack"