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Joke of the Day

"Can't believe my daughter said I was embarrassing her by trying to be cool. She needs to check the tude & stop being so wiggity wiggity wack"

"In the midst of all this negativity and hate please take comfort in remembering that I have a 5 star uber passenger rating"

"Son of a Beach So I like digging. I am going to go the beach and become a professional digger. Professional digger."

"I usually tell self-deprecating jokes But I'm not very good at it"

"Hipsters is what happens when you tell every child they're special."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken"

"What is a Russian man's favourite Justin Timberlake song? Crimea River"

"What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro? zika blyat"

"Why can't you put the punchline in the title? What do you say to piss off a redditor?"

"As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it's a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?"