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Joke of the Day
"If I watch a meteor shower Does it feel violated? (x-post shittyaskscience)"
Next Joke
"[1st day as judge] Murderer: [waves at me] Me [waves back]: He seems nice Lawyer: He killed six people Me: He probably didn't mean it"
"Two peanuts walk into a bar And one was assaulted"
"Two Arabs are on a plane. One orders a bottle of Champagne and asks the other ""do you want some?"". The other replies ""No thanks, I'll have to drive soon""."
"A senior policeman in China has been suspended from his job after being caught masturbating and smoking joints in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer."
"Why do Baptists have so many children? They only use holy condoms."
"I'm old enough to remember when a selfie was some lotion and a box of Kleenex."
"How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews"
"The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant.. I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence."
"You know what's better than Tennessee? Elevennessee."