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Joke of the Day

"4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths."

"Knock, Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!"""

"my girlfriend said I have to give up my love of pointing out objects, or she would leave. I responded: ""well there's the door"""

"How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear."

"*hires sky writer to propose to psychic girlfriend* WILL YOU MARRY ME *2nd planes flies by 5 seconds later* HELL NO"

"Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant."

"I saw a Prius crash into a Subaru Outback the other day... There was granola everywhere."

"I went to the psychiatrist today I told him that I have started hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist."

"Finding a good date is like looking for a parking spot... all the good ones are taking and the rest are handicapped."

"Is Google a he or a she? A she, no doubt, because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas. (no offence to ladies)"