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Joke of the Day

"Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday...Satan slips that one in. He's a sneaky bastard."

Next Joke
 
"I don't run with scissors. The last 2 words in that sentence were unnecessary."
"A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine but whatever you do don't cure her."
"You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice"
"A vegan, an atheist, and a Crossfitter all walk into a bar. I should know, they all told me."
"In the beginning God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. - Since then neither God nor Man has rested."
"Your momma is so dumb jokes your momma is so dumb she sits on the tv and watches the couch"
"Why do Men find it hard to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes."
"What's white, but has a black asshole? The Whitehouse."
"Two kinds of lairs when it comes to masturbation ... Those that say they never have ... ...And those that say they quit ."
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