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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear what happened to the private who got caught sleeping with his drill instructor's Chlamydia infected wife? He got an oily discharge."

"""If I write something completely creepy under a girl's Facebook photo, maybe it WON'T be creepy if I end it with 'lol.'"" -guy logic"

"What did the pirate say when asked how old he was? Aye Matey!"

"I like my girls like my nails Hammered"

"A woman asks a famous man to give her a signature on her breast. The famous man says ""Sorry, I don't know how to write that small."""

"Why did the USAS with frag rounds fall over? Because it was... imbalanced."

"Have you ever heard of Tupac? You probably haven't, he's pretty underground"

"The size of a woman's bag is directly proportional to how crazy she is."

"What do you call it when an amputee does Karate? Partial Arts! :)"

"I committed a petty theft today... The cops took me in on charges for a salt and battery."