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Joke of the Day

"After 10 missed calls in a row, I'm tempted to answer the phone just so I can find out who wants to be murdered."

"That awkward moment when I give a guy a fake phone number and he tries to call it in front of me.. #OhShiiiit"

"What is smaller than an ant's dinner ? An ant's mouth !"

"To add to the death toll in Paris, this post was enough. She thinks 9/11 is November http://imgur.com/WmkIubI"

"I just went to the apple orchard with my girlfriend... My only complaint was I didn't get to be in cider."

"My friend says he's got a psychic duck He's got it all dressed up like a gypsy in a little circus tent in his house. ""What are you on?"" I said to him. ""Quack"" said the duck."

"A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year."

"My wife said that if I lose my job, she's divorcing me. So I need suggestions here, people. What are some terminable offenses these days?"

"What's the difference between a blonde and an Airbus A380? Not everyone has been in an Airbus A380."

"A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says ""what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"" The parrot replies ""Africa there's millions of them"""