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Joke of the Day

"Everyone said it was a bad idea to store glue in the same cabinet as my rifles but I'm sticking to my guns."

"What do defensive linemen and porn stars have in common? At some point both of them have said to themselves ""This sack is going to make my career."""

"Saw a pretty girl, asked her, ""whats your sign?"" She said stop."

"I'm very popular at the gym. Girls always approach saying things like, ""Hey, this is the women's locker room."""

"How big are headphones going to get before we just start to wear helmets with subwoofers inside them?"

"*tries online dating* Oh...oh no *tries real life dating* Ok this is actually worse somehow"

"How many times do I have to say ""excuse me"" before ""get the f*ck out of my way"" becomes acceptable?"

"A procrastinator and a depressed man walk into a bar... Depressed man: I'm driving straight off a bridge tonight. Procrastinator: I've been telling myself that for weeks."

"linuxmint 13 or 15 question why does 13 have lts and not newer versions?"

"Also, those little Swiss Army knives are great when you need a tiny pair of scissors to open your Gummi Bears like some kind of crack head."