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Joke of the Day

"Everyone said it was a bad idea to store glue in the same cabinet as my rifles but I'm sticking to my guns."

"I tried to put two apples together But then I got a pear"

"Did you hear about the house the two lesbians made? It was all tongue and groove."

"After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.... ...Picking up the phone, he spoke ""Hebrew."""

"Did you hear about the crazy train that went on a killing spree? Authorities believe it had a loco motive."

"Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ? A frog in a blender !"

"After getting off the ski lift, my mate said ""Let's go hit the slopes!"" I'm like, ""Why do you want to beat up those Japanese tourists?"""

"What do you the balcony seats at the theater? The Wilkes Booth."

"To the guy with the friend who dates Asians.... Maybe he just needs some time to re-orient himself?"

"Two flies were sitting on a piece of poo. One farted. The other said 'do you mind? I'm eating.'"