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Joke of the Day

"Some people like to stir the pot... ...I prefer to smoke it."

"I was gonna make a pun... But the stress of making them is unbearable."

"So have you heard about the mass immigration problem ALDI has been having? They even got a new slogan: Do work or ALDI port ya"

"How many decades of knowing someone before it's rude to ask what their name is?"

"trump: ban muslims jeb bush: i disagree. just like dad would. who used to be president ben carson: how did spongebob make fire underwater"

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt, shithead."

"Just ran into Bjork walking into her hjotel. Ljoking fjorward to her show at Pitchfjork tjonight (hjoly shit my Icelandic is pjerfect)."

"I'm one of those people that no one warned you about."

"Open your mind before your mouth."

"911: 911, what seems to be the emergency? Me: My nephew just hit the wall while running 911: Haha Me: Haha 911: Ok paramedics are on the way"