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Joke of the Day

"""They said 'You'll never amount to anything, you aren't handsome enough to be a star, you're too short, you can't sing, you're not funny enough'"" ""So anyway here's your medium Latte that'll be 3.79"""

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"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them."
"Prostate Cancer **;** Edit: *But seriously, cancer isn't funny.*"
"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my dick So my wife can blow all the money she wants"
"""Dad, why is my picture on that milk carton?"" ""Well, son, I guess it's time that I tell you the truth. You were adopted... from a dairy."""
"Walking dead spoiler alert. There are zombies and they like to try & eat people but the people are like ""nuh uh zombie, we don't want that"""
"If I had $1 for every time I read a racist comment on the internet I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read."
"When does a horse talk on the phone? Whinny wants to!"
"All the toys in Toy Story are pervs Their whole world and life revolves around being played with by little kids."
"When God closes a door, He opens a window. God does not give a shit about your electric bill."