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Joke of the Day
"Yesterday I met my ex-girlfriend's son and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father."
Next Joke
"I renew my ages-old wish that there was a CD of nothing but SNL closing-credits music that you could play to get people to leave your house."
"Garcinia Cambogia."
"Two cows standing in a field... One cow looks at the other and says ""Moo"", the other cow says ""Fuck I was just about to say that""."
"What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict? One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines."
"Be carful guys, I read about a new app and if you use it you'll get a virus. Have you heard of Tinder?"
"""Gunman"" is too cool-sounding. Can we start calling them something that conveys weakness, like ""pistoleer?"""
"I saw a ballet themed porn the other day. It was 'Fucking en Pointe'."
"The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close."
"What's the difference between America and Europe? In America, we call our inbred hillbillies. In Europe, they call them royals."