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Joke of the Day

"The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close."

"The titanic is all like... ""I nominate all my passengers for the ice bucket challenge"""

"I hope that your text abbreviations become so short that you can soon send me nothing."

"I have a few jokes about unemployed people... But none of them work."

"A man got arrested for assaulting someone with a defibrillator. The victim said that he was gonna press charges."

"What is the difference between a symphonic orchestra and a bull? The bull has its horns in the front and the asshole in the back!"

"When a woman says ""fine"" what she really means is ""I'm going to say things are fine but they really aren't and I will later throw it back in your face."

"If a geologist is in deep schist, it probably isn't very gneiss"

"Getting a tub. Filling it with cookies. Pouring milk over it. Pretending to eat a giant's cereal. Horrifying my wife."

"Kim Kardashian as First Lady"