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Joke of the Day

"""This is the police! Put your hands up where I can see 'em!"" ""But I can't-"" ""Now!"" *t-rex panics*"

"LEAVE ME ALONE GRANDMA I'M ENTERTAINING LITERALLY TENS OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET"

"Ha ha A little bit ask his mom for a quarter she said for what he said for being good she said why don't you be good for nothing like your daddy. Lol"

"Most people go talk to a therapist, family, or friends to get shit off their chest... ...I however just go take a shower."

"Damn! I'm still writing Slovakia on my Czechs!"

"The King and I always have breakfast for dinner on Christmas Eve We call it Yule Brinner."

"I wonder if the guy I'm interviewing knows this isn't for a cologne model position."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face"

"I still remember the last thing my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Say what you will about pedophiles but... They always support orphans, the always drive slow in school zones, they always donate to schools, they always help with homework."