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Joke of the Day

"Ha ha A little bit ask his mom for a quarter she said for what he said for being good she said why don't you be good for nothing like your daddy. Lol"

"Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party? Because they were 50% off!"

"Worry: a waste of imagination."

"Why won't Derek Zoolander vote for Hillary Clinton? Because he can't turn left."

"Did you hear about the new Italian tires? Dago here, dago there, and when dago flat, dago wop wop wop."

"It's amazing that no one at this swim up bar has had to go to the bathroom in the last three hours."

"Shawty dropped to the ground like she ain't got manners There was too much lights for an epileptic girl to handle"

"I've just started an online dating site for Siamese twins. It's called Connect 4."

"What does a walrus and tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"3 Best Uses for Oven Timers: 1. Remind you of beer in the freezer 2. Pizza rolls 3. Notify guests when their time's up & they should leave"