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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if the guy I'm interviewing knows this isn't for a cologne model position."

"According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American ""Trail of Tears"" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks."

"What's better than winning a silver in the paralympics? Being able to walk."

"Guy: If u won lotto, what'd u get? Me: A cat sitter G: To take extra good care of Sox? M: *pictures a cat in a suit taking care of me* Yes"

"What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch. I'll show myself out now"

"What did the sphinx say? What did the sphinx say when he found out the pharaoh caught him up in a pyramid scheme? Egypt me!"

"Opinions are like mixtapes... I don't want to hear yours."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? Because he was too far out mannnn."

"Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President."

"How do Asian's name their children? Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*"