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Joke of the Day

"Most people go talk to a therapist, family, or friends to get shit off their chest... ...I however just go take a shower."

"I am a single male and I folded a fitted sheet at the laundromat today AMA!"

"I'd follow humor pages on facebook but most of the time I see a joke, I've already reddit before"

"My girlfriend started smoking... ...so I slowed down and applied lubricant."

"What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night? Piratechnics!"

"Why did the scarecrow receive an award? It was outstanding in his field."

"I sure hope they're wrong about 2012. I'd hate to think I wasted the last couple years of my life on here with you guys."

"What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne"

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him"

"When I tell you I butt-dialed you, I'm not saying it was an accident, I just want you to be impressed."