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Joke of the Day

"Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, ""Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"" He says, ""Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"""

"Should I take something for my kleptomania??"

"What do you call a money lender who lives in the ocean? A loan shark!"

"What did Stephen Hawking Say when his computer crashed? Nothing"

"I got stuck in a blender. Pour me..."

"What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music? Dokken"

"I don't do drugs. I take drugs. My brain does the drugs. Follow me? Me either -because drugs"

"I don't see why everyone is up in arms about Oscar Pistorius.... Haven't we all woken up legless and fired a few into the missus?"

"What did the German clock maker say to the clock that would only go ""tick tick tick?"" Vee have vays of making you tock!"

"Nobody under the age of 23 has any recollection of life before the internet. I hope that fact makes you vomit like it did me."