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Joke of the Day

"What did the German clock maker say to the clock that would only go ""tick tick tick?"" Vee have vays of making you tock!"

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"What do books have that Mexicans don't? Papers."
"NORMAL PEOPLE: ""aww, they're such a cute couple"" ME: ""I wonder if they fu***d yet"""
"How Many Jews Does It Take To Open A Door? Obviously more than 6 million..."
"Have I been shadow banned? Nevermind, turns out my comments just suck."
"I am a perfect role model... ...for someone who takes ""how much can you fuck up your life?"" As an actual challenge."
"I had sex with both of the Olsen twins. But that was before they were famous."
"[Guy sees octopus doing squats at the gym on 4 legs] ""You doing legs today?"" Octopus: Yeah my fourarms hurt."
"If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a racist I'd have so much cash on me I'd probably get mugged by a black man."
"I told my friend he was noble.... He didn't react."