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Joke of the Day

"Why was the lifeguard unable to save the hippie from drowning in the ocean? He was too *far out, man*."

"You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?"

"Something came in the mail today... My taxes"

"and on the 8th day god created drugs and everybody was like ""thanks god you're the shit"""

"What do you call eight rabbits walking backwards together? A receding hare-line."

"Germany are welcoming refugees like war heroes because they had never had the chance to welcome the real thing. I'm mean."

"Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours wondering where he'd seen himself before?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Benin ! Benin who ? Benin hell!"

"What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk."

"I tried to smuggle LSD across the border using my ass The bag broke, then I had the shittiest trip"