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Joke of the Day

"if I was a Trucker, I'd wanna' be 1978 macho karate knowin', funny CB-radio trucker, Not the 2010 meth-addled, restroom-gay-sex,herpes-type."

"ME: do dogs think we have three mouths because we pick stuff up with our hands? VET: where exactly is your dog ME: he's uh coming later"

"I'd stage an angry protest against Scott Brown & the death of health care reform, but I can't afford to get hurt."

"When I found out the murderer dismembered the victim, It really tore me into pieces."

"Whenever someone makes a Jew joke and the Rabhi is in the room everybody goes ""AWWWSWITCHZ"""

"""Ok Noah, that's 2 of everything! Did I see a 3rd sheep in your office tho?"" Nope ""Yea I did, it had lipstick on?"" Nope, raise the anchor"

"I don't have a sense of entitlement... but I deserve one."

"Doctor Doctor Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?"

"What spice is the most welcoming? Cumin"

"What did the German brat say to his father? You're the wurst!"