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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference in a refrigerator and a vagina? A refrigerator doesn't fart when I pull my meat out."

"In no particular order = In exact order, but I don't want to piss off the people I put at the end."

"I swear to god if my girlfriend calls me immature one more time... She's never getting her nose back."

"The guy who invented throat lozenges just died... I heard there will be no coffin at his funeral."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"What does the weather do when Hitler's around? It heils."

"I've been procrastinating on lots of projects which means I've been multitasking all morning which means I've earned a nap."

"On the upside, Oscar Pistorus has had his paralympic classification promoted... ...he's gone from T43 (double below knee amputee) all the way up to T800 (The Terminator)."

"Had to Return the Sensitive Toothpaste I bought yesterday... It couldnt take a joke!"