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Joke of the Day

"I swear to god if my girlfriend calls me immature one more time... She's never getting her nose back."

"I feel bad for people who work at German supermarkets. They have to deal with Deutsch bags all day."

"A man went to his doctor... Man: When i press here it hurts, when i press a little bit higher up it hurts and if i press on my leg it also hurts. Doctor: Looks like you broke your index finger."

"Seaside Treats by Rhoda Donkey"

"Two antennae had a wedding... It was alright, but the reception was amazing."

"Sorry, I'm out of my mind at the moment, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. "

"How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox? Tell them it floats!"

"What does it sound like to shoot yourself in the foot twice? Pao! Pao!"

"Autocorrect changed Friend to Fiend but sleeping with a Fiend with Benefits is actually a little more exhilarating"

"Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means"