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Joke of the Day

"Dammit. My ""Bikini Inspector"" T-shirt's in the wash. How am I supposed to hit the town without irony?"

"If I ever get a tummy tuck I'm going to ask the surgeon to make a little pocket below my navel so I'll always have a place for my iPod."

"What do the Syrian refugees and water have in common? They both keep trying to get on our shores...."

"The corner of this table hurt me and made me cry, so now we're dating"

"Three guys walk into a bar. They pretend to hear each other for two hours and then go home"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a registered 6 offender"

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Hose B"

"Did You Know Willie Nelson Just Died? He was playing On The Road Again."

"Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!"

"Game: ""Would you like to try the tutorial first?"" Me: ""No."" *minutes later* ""How the f*ck do you play this?"""