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Joke of the Day

"Finding Nemo 3: Nemo's mom isn't dead. Nemo's dad kidnapped Nemo to avoid a custody dispute. Nemo's mom finds them. It's a revenge tale."

"Would love to see a reality show where they promise the prize will ""change contestants lives FOREVER""...and it's a brain swap with a cow."

"How many donald trumps does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He holds it up and the world revolves around him"

"Had a job interview yesterday and was asked how much I was worth so I got up to leave. They ask me if there is a problem? Yes there is, I can't afford to live off that."

"Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing!"

"China and Russia are having a friendly discussion... Russia: ""I bet you couldn't kill that group of Buddhist monks over there"" China: ""Do you want Tibet?"""

"What's the difference between a long bearded redneck and a long bearded ISIS man? One wants to eat filthy american pigs, and the other wants to kill the filthy american pigs."

"What does Taylor Swift say when going down a slide? Weeeeeeeeeee, are never never never, getting back together."

"ME: when I was 12 I got the flu so bad I had to be in the hospital GUY WHO TRIES TO ONE-UP EVERY STORY: oh yeah? when I was 13 I died"

"Do you know the Pistorious drinking game? Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots."