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Joke of the Day

"ME: when I was 12 I got the flu so bad I had to be in the hospital GUY WHO TRIES TO ONE-UP EVERY STORY: oh yeah? when I was 13 I died"

"Did you know lesbians almost never cook for themselves? They prefer eating out."

"Maybe it's the PCP, but have you guys noticed that flaming dude that floats around your head in a bubble shaved his mustache?"

"Whats brown & sticky? A stick."

"The Cincinnati zoo has honey bees, sweat bees, carpenter bees, bumble bees.... But no Harambe"

"Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes"

"I had sex with a chicken last night. It turns out the chicken came first, after all."

"Did you hear who Deez Nuts is picking as a running mate? Shaft."

"What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with a boob job? One's a crusty bus station."

"What did one gay horse say to the other? Haaaaayyyyy"