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Joke of the Day

"Would love to see a reality show where they promise the prize will ""change contestants lives FOREVER""...and it's a brain swap with a cow."

"Whenever a stranger asks our baby's name, I always say he hasn't told us yet."

"McDonald's burgers always look so great in their commercials but when you actually order one it always looks like its been sat on."

"It's only a restroom if you fall asleep in the stall."

"Pedophiles really get on my nerves... They're fucking immature assholes."

"The Seven Dwarfs The seven dwarfs were all in a hot tub. They were all feeling happy, then Happy got out."

"People who are genuinely surprised when politicians behave badly should be forced to wear helmets for their own protection."

"If Kanye West was an egg... ...he'd be over-Yeezy."

"Didn't will.i.am once say he was going to make a car? well.he.isn't"

"(Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy."